some sharing

it's been a long time since i've shared here about things deeper than what i did on my weekend. i suppose the real reason for it is because i haven't been feeling that great for a while and felt like i had nothing to share.

I find myself looking up to older Christians in my church, some of them leaders, and I find myself so amazed and encouraged by their perseverance and godliness. And i look at my own life and i think: there's so much sin here- i'll never be as godly a Christian as they are! Deep down, i'm very aware of my own flaws and weaknesses, as well as my continual failure of doing what is right even though i want to.

but here's the power of forgiveness; the power of the Cross. Shamefully sinful that i am, God chose ME before the creation of the world to be His child, Christ died a painful death on that day for MY sins, for my rebellion against God, and freely He offers me life. This I know.

So why don't I feel at peace or joyful? instead, i'm troubled and burdened, but i don't know why or by what.

I think it's because i've taken my eye off the Cross; I've stopped looking at things from an eternal perspective; my mind and heart is not set on things above; i'm too caught up with the world.

I'm tired. But though I can't see it, there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. Just gotta put my faith in God to pull me through this, because there's no way i can do it myself.