living 4 eternity

I'm sitting quietly in the study...staring at the screen before me...it feels strange to think that in two days this peace, this repose will be unmercifully shattered. And as i lean back and glance out the window - one part of me yearns to return to the exciting, to the busy existence that has become my life - but the other half of me longs to stay here, in the quiet routineless blur that is my holidays; the days slide into the nights and the nights wander into days; no worries except when the next meal is arriving...

and as i sit here contemplating, musing about the possible ups and downs i will face in the week ahead - one thought strikes me. It gives me clarity of mind even as my eyes adjust to the semi-darkness caused by the sun hiding its face behind the clouds...

when school starts again - everything that has been so clear will become troubled, all that is in the light will turn to shadow, and all of which i have worked towards will fall apart.

for this is what this whole blog has been about: living my life here in a way that reflects where i am going for eternity. i want to live my life to reflect the fact that i have been saved and to show where my true home really is: eternity with God. this is my desire...but it's acting it out that's the hard part.

church camp was something i'd been looking forward to, for a long time...because i needed the bible teaching, i needed the fellowship, i needed to put myself back into focus with God. and i did that, and it felt amazing! to have my mind and my vision for the future crystal clear, to look forward to That day, to throw off all these insignificant worries and strive for what is ahead...to know with perfect clarity what this life is all about...to have such overwhelming joy as i reflect on the Cross...

i don't want to lose all that.

but as the threatening prospect of school looms overhead, i already know...it is with a sinking heart that i go back, because i already know that over this term, i will lose focus, i will get stressed, i will fail to live as a Christian should, i will suffer, i will complain, i will have conflicts with parents and friends, i will sin. and that's a scary thought.

but i know i will not be alone: when i am scared, or worried, or suffering - God will always be there, by my side, guiding me, protecting me, loving me. And of course there are my fellow brothers and sisters, giving me a helping or encouraging hand up as we run this race together. There is much comfort in knowing that.

it's tough a lot of the time, being a Christian. but i knew to expect that: do we not follow Christ's example? and did not he suffer while he lived, and his life end by being nailed onto the Cross? so i too, must follow my Master and take up my own cross - all the while looking forward to the glory that will come! for one thing, i pray...that in everything i do, Christ may be glorified!